Dogwood Chapter 4

What is ur name?

Name a four letter word.

Oh sorry, typo, that should say “Name: a 4 letter word.”

What is ur name? Don’t answer that just yet. “Don’t” is a 4 letter word… Kind of. 4 more 4 letter words would be- haus, wood, next, here. Welcome to the dogwoods. X marks the spot. Here.

My name is Bambi. You may call me that, for now. Certainly there are those who’ve known me by others already. Or at the very least I’ve been called many other names before now. I tried to get traction behind the nickname Cheddar in middle school, but the closest I got was Queso in Spanish class.

I grew up with 4 names (two in the middle) and my initials were rdhm. My friend Bach (pronounced like Johann Sebastian) loved when my stage name was rdhm. Just 4 concise consonants. That era didn’t last long. Oh look, last and long are both 4 letter words.

Before marriage, my first and last names were the same as the man who killed Blackbeard the pirate. Side note about Blackbeard: he would put matchsticks in his beard (which was black lol) so they’d smoke around his face like a demon in battle. He scared victims into surrendering instead of having to use violence and I love that. It seems Blackbeard, the man who inspired our archetype of “pirate costume,” was really just a pacifist theater queen trying to scrape together a living with his lost boys. A pirate costume, indeed. It’s good branding, but I digress. Point of the story is that I grew up sharing a name with the British soldier who finally vanquished The Pirate King off the coast of North Carolina. X marks the spot. Spot is a 4 letter word.

Incoming humble brag (4 letters)— as a kid, I often heard things like “you don’t look like a Robert. You’re way too cool.” I also heard, “you’re adopted? Do you know Annie!?” No I never met the redheaded orphan, and yes I’m way too cool for Robert to be my stage name.

Let me be clear, there’s nothing wrong with Robert. Lots of strong Roberts. But I’m never a Bob and god forbid a Bobby. When I was younger, I wondered if I would just passively grow into a nickname. Bert? I could be a Bert, maybe. Not on stage, though.

I thank higher powers that MySpace arrived right on time for my adolescent identity angst and it quickly became the perfect playground to transform my name. The top contenders of that time were Robert Rhinoceros, Danny Disney, and finally, Blob. Blob is a 4 letter word.

Most 4 letter words, like name, are powerful in their conciseness. True, lost, home, help… donk. I wanted the name I was called to change along with me because thank god I was changing and growing. Did you have a similar feeling? Name may only be a 4 letter word but to give something a name means it is real to you. It exists. To name a name, namely, means that we can share that name together. We can share that reality.

The Judeo-Christian God named the first dude creation Adam. Coincidentally both dude and Adam are 4 letter words. Adam then (allegedly) was given the solemn task of naming all the animals of the seas, the skies, and the forests. Welcome to the dogwoods. Fawn is a 4 letter word.

My name is Bambi and you may call me that. For now.

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